... because otherwise I will be one of those barn people.

Here's the situation: there's a kid at our barn who has this little black mare on a year-long off-property lease. I have never met the horse's owner. She got the horse in the fall, not long before things froze up solid. We have no indoor arena so, like most of the horses here, the mare has had considerable time off this winter. Prior to the kid getting her, the mare spent several years hanging out in a pasture, was sent for a month's professional training (I'm not clear on whether this was a tuneup or she had just been started then), and then hung out in a pasture for several more months. The kid is about fourteen and low-key to the point of seeming spacey. She part-leased the barn owner's old palomino gelding for a while, but our paths never crossed so I had no idea what sort of rider she was.

Over the winter the barn owner expressed frustration more than once at the black mare's ground manners. (This is not a professional barn with an instructor or trainer on tap, it's a hobby barn intended for hobby horses. The only horse they've asked to leave since I've been there was a big jumper who kept running over people on his way in and out of the barn.) The owner believed that, since the kid couldn't ride, she wasn't coming out to the barn and her green mare wasn't getting handled enough.

It's coming spring and warming up, so the kid has started coming out more.

And the black mare's manners are steadily getting worse.

No kidding, when we had the massage clinic a few weeks ago the mare would at least stand while the clinician handled her. But yesterday, when both Mitzi and the black mare were on the cross-ties and the kid was tacking up, the black mare pawed and went on whenever she was left standing for more than a minute (again, there were people and horses in the alleyway, it wasn't like she'd been left alone.) And then when the kid went to bridle her--the mare pulled loose from her, bulled into Mitzi (who thank God didn't kick) and then dove through an open stall door. The kid went calmly in after her, got the bridle on, led her into the alleyway with the reins up over her neck as if she was about to mount. A few seconds later the mare pulled loose again, while the kid was holding her, and ducked into another stall. Same thing: kid calmly went after her as if there was nothing unusual about being unable to control your horse while holding her in the barn.

And then it happened again. The kid was no more prepared for the third instance than she had been for the first. She didn't even take the reins down from around her neck, just acted as though she could lead her safely from the one side of the rein even after it had been demonstrated that she could not. It doesn't seem to have occurred to her that her green mare is not the barn owner's elderly dead-broke gelding, and it doesn't seem to have occurred to her that if something is clearly not working you really should, you know, try something else.

[As I write this I suddenly remember that last week when we were out at the same time, the mare broke loose and bolted out into the turnout area with her saddle half-done-up, pushing past Mitzi and ducking under a cross-tie as she went. I didn't see how she got loose but I thought at the time it was an isolated incident. I am now seeing it as evidence that the mare is getting no leadership and so she's decided she's in charge.]

Coach Girl and her friend were both present, with their new green gelding, and neither of them said a word. So after the kid went outside with the mare, I said to her, "Obviously, since you said nothing, you're no longer giving her lessons, but is she taking them from anyone?" Coach Girl and her friend both gave me big frustrated eyes and I suddenly remembered that when the black mare arrived at the barn, all green and hard to handle and "what the hell were this kid's parents thinking?"--I had forgotten that last fall the kid had a lot of trouble with the mare--Coach Girl gave her lessons and rode the mare once or twice a week. Which was a really good idea, until the kid decided she didn't want anyone else riding her horse.

So apparently the most recent development has been this: Coach Girl spoke to the kid about the fact that things are getting progressively worse, and got blown off. So Coach Girl spoke to the kid's mother, and got blown off. Yesterday afternoon she spoke to the barn owner about the, you know, inability to lead her horse thing.

It's not that Coach Girl isn't trying. It's just that it's difficult to see what else she can do. And come to think of it, last time we were at the barn at the same time I mentioned to the kid that we need to keep the door closed in the heated tack room, and five minutes later she went into the tack room and walked out leaving the door wide open. I actually snapped at her that time, which got her attention for a second. And come to think of it, the only other time I recall our being out at the same time I mentioned nicely to her that she was doing something stupid (can't recall what) around Mitzi and she gave no sign she had even heard me until I said it again, more sharply.

So then the kid came back into the barn after her ride, or whatever. Last time I was out she was able to get on the mare and ride her where she was pointed at least--she was crooked and strung out and obviously green, but she went around. This week I looked out a couple of times in case of tragedy and the first time the kid was in the saddle, the second time she'd gotten off to longe some more. (She'd already longed before she came in to tack up.) I don't know if she got back on at all because she brought the mare in the barn with the longe line through the bridle like she'd just finished a session--and the rest of the line in big careless dragging loops that would be dangerous if she'd been leading the old palomino, let alone a horse she had demonstrated she could not, you know, lead.

And by this time I had given it some thought, and this is my thinking:

1) I have no actual authority in this situation, at all.

2) And everyone hates those nosy interfering people who nag you about your own horse as if you don't know what you're doing. I've run into some of them, and they annoy me too, especially when they make assumptions about me and my horse based on absolutely no information. I mean, truly some people just like to hear themselves talk and like to show off their alleged knowledge.

3) However, what everyone hates worse are the people who watch a dangerous situation develop, and say nothing, and then after the inevitable serious accident they go "I knew that was going to happen." And in this case, I would be one of them.

I normally give the barn kids credit for being pretty good horse people, and most of them are. But this kid appears to be a classic case of someone who has no idea how far in over her head she is, and a disaster of some sort is no longer an if, it's a when. Having the freelance coach speak to her and her mother nicely isn't making any dents, and when I spoke to her nicely it didn't make a dent either.

So when she came trailing in with big loops of longe line flapping around her feet I said flatly, "That's really dangerous, especially considering she's already broken loose from you three times today," and went about my business.

And I think that's what I'm going to keep on doing, and I'm going to speak to her mother in exactly the same way: just make factual "that's dangerous" statements whenever she does something dangerous. I don't know what else to do, aside from talking to the barn owner, which I think I will as well. Ordinarily when I feel compelled to offer advice I phrase it as "have you tried" or "you might consider," but what this kid appears to need is--and I never do this, but this is the situation--she appears to need to be disabused of the idea that she's competent and experienced and coping well with her horse. Because she's not. And the really alarming thing is, she doesn't even seem to know enough to know that all this is not normal, and is escalating to the point at which she, the mare, or someone else is going to get hurt.

I rarely indulge in catastrophic thinking, but it's hard to see how there can be another outcome if something doesn't change.

I just found a link to these tips for critiquing a story, and perhaps I should keep them in mind while critiquing this kid's horsemanship. Although I'm afraid that if I am too gentle and reasonable, I will be too easy to ignore. Given that this is what she's been doing all along. I mean, it's good, I guess, that she's not scared or intimidated, but that appears to be because she doesn't have the sense to realize there is anything wrong.

And there is a difference between trying to help a writer improve and trying to get through to a fourteen-year-old kid before she hurts herself or someone else. Damn.