I watched Idol last night because I suspected buddy who sang "Jeremy" might have run out of luck and I'd get to hear it. And he had, and I did. And here's the thing: he did a good job last week on the cheerful shouter "Mustang Sally," but "Jeremy" requires a little darkness in the singer's voice. And this guy had none. At all. So he sounded silly and out of his depth and like he didn't understand the song. As if he was in a karaoke bar and had a few drinks in him and wasn't thinking about what he was singing. So, despite the fact he's got a pretty good voice, the booting was richly deserved.

The good thing is, his version was so generic that it made no impression on me whatsoever. I've forgotten it already. Yay.

I assume he (and the rest of Pearl Jam) must have some sort of craniocerebral trauma, since "Jeremy" was apparently performed on last night's American Idol. There is a part of me that wishes I'd seen it, but not a very big part.

Seriously, either the show has jumped the shark or all the male contestants this year represent some sort of bland music-for-invalids genre inspired by Cream of Wheat. I watched a few of them on Tuesday and it was painfully dull--boring little pop songs sung in tiny, tuneless, breathy voices. If gerbils bought records, they would love these kids. Plus the closest any of them came to having a personality was the one little dude who performed without shoes. Which made me think of Rita MacNeil, who I think no longer does this but she's a much better singer.

I didn't bother with the girls last night, and I think I may be officially over this show. Since I usually get bored about halfway through the season and quit, it's significant that I don't seem to have any interest at all in the beginning. I've said before that I don't have guilty pleasures, since as long as it's harmless I don't see the point in feeling guilty. What's ruining Idol for me isn't guilt, it's a total lack of pleasure.

Mind you, I'll always love Idol for these moments:

I know, I know--I would have been better advised to have gone to Tribeca to watch actual musicians... but I just didn't feel like scraping the rest of the snow off my car. And besides, I'll be at the Seahorse show Friday and as my grandmother used to say, there's no need to go to hell with the joke.

So. I watched American Idol. And you know, I think it may be time for me to cut this one loose. The audition process has become a complete freak show and the contempt for contestants is palpable. I usually enjoy the middle few weeks of Idol but I think I've reached the point where the return isn't big enough.

Plus there's that whole squick I've always had about the idea of a frank competition among musicians. In real life, sure, there is some competition for the attention and money of listeners, but really--if I get in the habit of going out to see bands and buying records, everyone benefits. (Or anyway everyone I like.) It's like avid readers: the more books we read, the more books we want to read. And although we cannot read or buy every book in existence, we still benefit a lot of authors who are not actually in direct competition for our money and attention.

Mind you, by the end of the season Idol has almost always gotten down to the four or five contestants in whom I have the least interest (Kelly Clarkson and Fantasia Barrino excepted, and I notice I haven't got their records either) so really, not such a big deal.

Anyway. We'll see what happens but so far the indications are encouraging that I might finally be free of this particular reality TV monkey on my back.

Despite the fact this week's show sucked, I like the theme of "pick a song from the year you were born."

I liked it enough to look up whether Neil Young had released anything in 1979, not that I had anyone in mind or anything, and discovered he put out two albums that year: Rust Never Sleeps and Live Rust. And I've been humming "Like A Hurricane" ever since.

If I were clever about memes, I would create one. But I'm not, so I'm simply going to ask the question:

If you were on American Idol and the theme was "Sing a song from the year you were born," what song would you choose?

I found this dandy list and am delighted to see the top five for my birth year are:

1. To Sir With Love (Lulu)
2. Happy Together (The Turtles)
3. Windy (Association)
4. Ode To Billie Joe (Bobbie Gentry)
5. I'm A Believer (The Monkees)

I like all of them! I'm teetering between "Windy" (which I think I first heard on Sesame Street) and "Ode To Billie Joe" because I suspect that if I could sing I would be a folkie-country type singer.

Or maybe I would choose number 84: Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron (Royal Guardsmen), or number 33: Somebody To Love (Jefferson Airplane), or...

No. "Ode To Billie Joe" it is.

Anyone else?

it is to watch American Idol when you have absolutely no interest in any of the contestants. I mean, I enjoy listening to Paris sing and I think she's cute, and I would totally watch Kellie in a sitcom about a struggling young country singer, but that's about the extent of it.

I do kind of enjoy busting on the wildly overpraised Taylor (honest to God, total journeyman bar singer with a decent voice and a really fucking irritating stage schtick, and there are people acting like he's the greatest performer since Elvis) but he's so annoying to watch that I can't even do it for the snark.

Coney is delighted that Ace (and his hideous falsetto) is gone, though--last night during the "sing-out" Coney opened one eye and asked, "Is that man going to make the terrible noise that sounds like someone murdering a sheep?" And I assured him the show would cut him off before that could happen. I'm so glad I was right.

And then we watched our Joel P DVD again before bed time.

I'm not exactly ashamed of watching Idol, but let's just say I watch it as television, not in the hopes of finding a singer I'd want to listen to. There have been a couple over the years who kind of interested me, but it really has been more as characters on the show than as musicians. And since they then never seem to go any further in their careers I don't have to decide whether to buy their CDs. I'm sort of committed to Bucky's, if any, but I'm not holding my breath for the poor dear.

Well, shit.

Tonight's theme: the music of Queen.

Yes, Queen.

The show runs from 9:00-10:00 pm Atlantic Daylight Time.

Expect the Apocalypse at approximately 10:03.

I just realized, there's no mood option for "aghast." Because you know, sometimes you really really need one.

Again: whew!!

Once again, and with feeling: whew!

Once again, and all together now: whew!!!

Bucky was one of the unfortunates hauled out to center stage and made to wait through a commercial break to find out whether he'd been axed. And today his wife, who watched it on TV, told the hometown newspaper:

"He doesn’t handle stuff like that. He can see blood and he faints."

I'm sure he'll thank her later for outing him as a fainter. I assume this means all the good-ol'-boy hunting jokes the recappers at TWoP have been making are way off the mark?

His twin brother, Rocky, had this to say on his brother being terrorized on television:

"Man, that ain’t right."

I've mentioned he's southern, haven't I?

Is it any wonder I'm rooting for him??

And again--whew!

Not dead yet!