Last night, CBC's The Fifth Estate reported on the death of Laura Gainey on the tall ship Picton Castle.

It sounds, sadly enough, like the horrifying conclusion to a pattern of complacent disregard for basic safety and seamanship precautions. Not that I know much about the sea. However, there's a famous bit of pilot wisdom that goes:

"The sky, like the sea, is not inherently dangerous; but it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity, or neglect."

We also used to say: "A superior pilot is one who uses superior judgment to avoid situations which require the use of superior skill."

In this case, if those in charge of the Picton Castle had thought a little more like pilots, they could have avoided this tragedy.

And I am going to spend the next few days trying not to imagine how Laura's father, Bob Gainey, must feel every time he remembers Laura's crewmates being able to hear her in the water, for quite some time, and not having the basic safety equipment or training to even make a realistic effort to rescue her. Jesus.

(And regarding the quote paraphrased in my post title--in this case, it was not the kid who took things for granted. Sadly.)

I didn't get pictures of the new little App last night. He doesn't look that much like Mitzi, he's roany with a blanket but not her adorable little freckly face, and he looks like he's going to be a pony for sure. He's quite a bit smaller than she is and she's 14.2-ish. Nice little guy, though. It'll be good to see him out of his stall on the weekend.

Also, I try not to get all overcome with horrible guilt feelings, but oh wow I do not deserve to have Mitzi. I mean, last night she reverted to this thing she used to do before she was broke, where she didn't want me to bridle her. She clenched her teeth and tried to wait me out--it didn't work, but it was frustrating especially since she hasn't done that in months. My best guess is that the last few weeks have been so spotty (hah--no, not funny) that she's expressing her frustration or whatever by passive resistance.

Anyway, I did get her bridled, and after the session when I took off the bridle I put it right back on again--less of a wait that time--but clearly this is something we need to go back to working on. And also clearly I need to drag out a couple of books that discuss problems like this. It's my fault, and I need to fix it. She's never been as relaxed about bridling as my other horses have been but I should have addressed the little issues before the problem came back.

Someone on my f'list once remarked that her back-of-the-brain fear was that she was fouling up her nice horse with her own incompetence. That's a fear I can relate to. When I get too down on myself about how well Mitzi would be doing with a different owner, one at a stage of her life when the horse is the only thing that's important, I do remind myself that sometimes owners at that stage don't have the patience I do. And maybe they wouldn't be quite so understanding about Mitzi's quirks, of which she has a hatful, and things might not have ended happily. It's a little story I tell myself, anyway.

However, I've got a lesson booked with the girl who does coaching at our barn for Sunday afternoons--we'll see how many we can get in before the ground freezes. My folks are coming to Halifax in two weeks for my mother's birthday, but we might be able to get around that. Right now I need support and she needs structure.

And it's occurred to me that I might want to save my pennies and try to send her back to the trainer for a month in the spring. All that's wrong with her now is my poor work habits, but she's a green horse and deserves backup. If she was less green I would consider a half-lease with one of the kids who used to lease an old horse who's leaving, but I don't think that's a good idea--the kid is great, but she's a minor and I'd worry all the time.

Apparently the problem with having a few interesting things going on in my life is that I no longer have that single obsessive focus. There was something to be said for that, despite its effect on my mental stability sometimes.